The Man-Ape Rebellion in Tanzania
Many of you have read my reports here on Big Foot and such written in a humorous or perhaps fictional vein but this would have been more factual. Oomplo, the man-ape came out of his cave looking for something to eat in Patrick Henry's garden, perhaps a carrot or even an eggplant, his favorite of all vegetables. He sees that Patrick has fallen asleep on the porch and has dropped the book he was reading on the deck. Oomplo sees that the book was written by the former Vice President of the United States of America, Al Gore. It is about Global Warming. Oomplo reads the back cover and quickly returns to his cave where with his fellow man-apes plans to disable the local bus that puts so much noxious gases into the air. They succeed and it takes two months to get the parts to get the bus running again, etc. Later Oomplo lectures at Yale University.
Revving Your Bicycle Up To 75 Mph
This book would tell you how to get that bicycle of yours up to speed. It would tell how to find an old Harley or Indian motor, put it into a wagon that you pull with a pulley driving the back wheel sprocket. I have not worked out all the technical details but will get right back on it as soon as my broken neck heals. The doctor says it will be twelve more weeks.
Tricks for Surviving WWIII
The president is fanning the blaze in Syria and it could lead to the last of all wars, WWIII. Other presidents have tried to start WWIII but now a President may have success. Therefore we should prepare for such an event in case China or Russia or Israel or some other peace-keeping country decides to unleash nuclear weapons. Underground is good with plenty of water and food and guns for protection along with a Porta-Potty from Walmart and magazines to read. But the key will be the position to take in case of a nuclear attack that we learned shortly after the Cold War began which is to sit down and grab your knees placing your head as low as possible to kiss your arse goodbye.
How to Make Money From a Great Idea
With the Internet one can quickly convert a great idea to cash. The trick is to take your passions and generate an idea that hungry wealthy buyers will snatch onto. You become an expert and they will follow you to the end of the earth buying everything you stick in front of them. You will become an Internet guru.The book will include topics such as finding a niche market, how to build a website, how to use keywords and social marketing and how to build a mailing list. I'm still looking for examples as to how this can actually work as none of my tries have been successful. This, of course, will be a work of fiction.
How to Write a Humorous Poem about Your Wife
This can come in handy for birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas and other holidays. I would show you an example of my poems but the editors here will say I copied it from the Internet and hold up the publication of this article as article sites always do even if you are copying what you wrote yourself. When writing about your wife, be careful. You could end up on the couch.