Over the years I have learned a lot about myself. At one time I used to think being optimistic was a good quality. I however tend to be optimistic when it came to people. I used to pride myself at being able to see some good in everyone. Being the Queen of Control made it easy for me to get into everybody else's business.
The following is a lesson I learned and want to share with you.
OPTIMISM:
*The ability to look at the bright side of things.
*The ability to see a glass half full not half empty.
*The ability to see good in everybody even the neighborhood burglar. or bad guy.
PESSIMISM:
*Able to see every thing as bad luck.
*IF one did not have bad luck they would have no luck at all.
* Seeing the glass half empty not half full.
I learned about three years ago that I do not like horses. I mean I rode a horse maybe three times in my life. The last time I rode I was at a camp where everything you did was with night blinders on so you could not see.
We went to a horse farm to ride horses. I could smell the horses. I could hear them and feel their bodies and knew they were big and strong. With much encouragement they had me walk up on some steps and try to get on the horse. Remember I'm blindfolded. I can not see a thing. Putting my leg over a horse sounded easy enough. But not being able to see turned it into terrifying! Someone was holding the horse very calmly telling me to "swing your leg over the horse now." Right... It's moving! I attempted it and the next thing I know I am half on the horse and half off. Holding on for dear life and thinking I'm going to die! The worker got more helpers and we tried it again. By this time I am thinking, what am I doing? Well I got back up the steps and with help got my leg over the horse. I was sitting on this 1000 pound mass of muscles and not able to see a thing. Every time it moved I felt I was going to fall off and get run over. "Let;s just practice walking around in the ring." The helper said very calmly. I stayed on the horse for about five minutes, if that. I couldn't handle it anymore. "I need to get off now." I announced. What seemed like hours later the other workers came over and helped guide me down.
I do not like horses! This experience taught me that I had no business near a horse. No business being in a horse pen. No business thinking I could change the fact that I did not like horses.
After that I connected a story I heard that made keeping out of others stuff appealing.
The story goes like this: Some scientist were going to try an experiment. They wanted to see if by changing a situation could someones attitude truly be changed. So they put an ad in the paper for volunteers.
They asked for an optimistic child and a pessimistic child. Two boys answered their ad quickly. They both arrived at the lab. The scientist put them into two different rooms. Each room had a pen full of horse manure. After several hours they came around to see how the boys were doing. The pessimistic child seemed agitated. Rolled up in a ball trying to stay as clean as possible. "Tell us what happened?" The scientists asked. "This has been a terrible day. Everything that could go wrong did. Then to find myself in here really makes my day a complete disaster!" The scientist wrote down their findings and went into the next room.
To their amazement the little boy was happy, he was kicking and screaming for joy. Tossing the manure here and there. Excitement and elation with each shovel full he threw. The scientists couldn't stand it any longer. "Why are you so happy?" The little boy stopped just long enough to say. "With all this sh*t there must be a pony in here somewhere! "
One day I connected the dots and discovered. With trying to control other's problems or getting into their business without being asked, I was freely entering into their pen full of manure. When I first entered I liked the excitement. The challenge. Trying to help them find their pony, showing them how easy it would be to find the pony. Telling them how to dig and how deep to find the pony. After a while I would notice that I was getting my shoes full of their sh*t. My clothes and hair was getting dirty, and I was becoming miserable, frustrated and anxious as I was right smack in the middle of their stuff. Over time I was able to see that I do not like horses. I do not like how I feel around other peoples horse pens.
It finally made sense. Thinking the optimistic child was making something good out of a bad situation was not the picture I needed to see. I needed to see that I do not like horses. I do not need to get into the pit full of manure. I have no business helping someone else with their stuff that they freely piled up.
So, if you don't like horses don't get into the pen to try to find a pony. Walk away. Keep your focus on yourself and your own actions. If you feel you need to do something for that other person PRAY. It could stand for Priorities Responsibilities At Yourself.